Two weeks in the Philippines and I'm sitting at Cebu-Mactan Airport waiting for my flight to Manila. Wishing so hard that by some magic this coming flight would change its destination and I could fly back home to Hiroshima.
It's not that something extraordinarily horrible happened during this holiday but I simply think it was not the right time and place for me to come here. I thought I would enjoy a beach holiday in South East Asia, but I forgot how stressful all the chaos, hassle and constant money grumbling here is. I am exhausted. I have no more strength to haggle prices on every turn: the shops, markets, tricycles and taxis... The scammers and hagglers have sucked the joy out of me. I simply wanted to go on a holiday and relax but instead I've found myself in constant turmoil.
I am not saying the Philippines is to blame. It is a country of beautiful islands and beaches where many local people are happy and sweet, totally hospitable. Unfortunately this was the wrong venue for me. If I could turn back time now I would book a luxurious resort and stay in one location to remove the stress of transport and constant haggling.
For the life of me I can't shake the repulsion when being scammed everywhere I go here. I know this is South East Asia and you have to roll with it - the unorganized dirty chaos sprinkled with money grabbing scammers lurking around every corner. And honestly I thought I could easily deal with as I have spent many months traveling across SE Asian countries before! Alas, I was mistaken. Perhaps I have grown to like the easier things in life as the backpacker style doesn't hold any appeal to me anymore.
Ironically Manila treated me well, and that was all thanks to some amazing friends that I have there. They showed me such hospitality and made my time in that big, dirty city so wonderful that the islands simply had a hard time impressing me.
On one hand I hate criticizing my time in the Philippines because I know nobody wants to hear negative things about their country - but I have to be honest and I have a need to vent. It's nothing personal, after all.
I can't remember the last time I was happy to go home from a holiday that I wished ever so badly for the holiday to be over. Of course it has not been all bad, not at all! It has been many small things good and bad, some big things wonderful and horrible, and it all boils down to the fact that I am sick and tired of being on full alert all the time to avoid trouble. Traveling as a young, white female I now realize that I have been subjected to even more hassle than I was prepared for. People think I'm an easy target. But I have fought back as I refuse to let people take advantage of me.
At this stage of my life, after traveling so many years to so many countries I would like to say that nothing gets to me - but it's not true. My heart sinks every time I notice a local trying to scam me. It feels like a slap in the face when people try to use you. And again, I knew this would be what would happen in SE Asia and I genuinely thought I could brush it off.
This is the first holiday ever where I was afraid a taxi driver would actually kidnap me or hold me against my will, where I witnessed hostel staff leave dirty sheets on beds for new guests to arrive or where I went to a buffet restaurant where all the food was cold or uncooked to a health hazard leaving me no choice other than to walk away.
And perhaps it is because I had such high expectations of this holiday that it's gone so wrong. I worked SO hard last year and overcame some real-life nightmares that if there ever was a time in my life that I deserved and needed a holiday it was this one. Ironically I have not been relaxing that much but spent my time stressing.
I am sure there is a lesson to be learnt here. I am not yet sure what it is but I know going home has never felt so good. Time for reflection shall surely follow once I am safely back. And however stressful this holiday has been I know it will make my return back to Japan ever so sweeter. I miss the organized, clean, polite, rule-operated nation with it's shy and polite people.
I love you, Japan, I'm coming home soon!
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