I recently turned 35. (I secretly wished I could be 25 again.)
As a person in their mid-thirties who has plentiful life experience behind them I consider myself mature enough to be over the most obvious symptoms of juvenile immaturity.
Don't get me wrong, I have no illusions about being an "adult" who has it all together - whatever that means. I have my moments of insecurity, doubts and tantrums.
I think most people remain young at heart even after not considered young young any longer. We grow older and wiser in time and through experiences but it's natural to have some of those irritating juvenile hang-ups still lurking around.
As I celebrated my birthday a while back I got a bit depressed realizing that the older you get the faster time flies and I felt like by this age I should be more wholesome and less jaded. I thought about myself in my 20's a lot. I soon found comfort as I was reminded that I have actually grown more mature and am more in harmony with myself than I perhaps gave myself credit for.
This extra perspective was gained as I was recently heavily exposed to spending time professionally and personally with a person who was young but also very immature for their age. In certain ways the rough exterior, sense of drama and exhibitionism reminded me of who I used to be when I was quite young and immature myself. I was touched by the tragically sensitive bi-polarity of this person as well as it so strongly reminded me of myself battling with extreme happy, elated state of mind and the deepest pitch of darkness so many years ago. In a way I saw my younger self in my new colleague/friend.
But I quickly changed my mind. I no longer could sympathize with someone who was rude and egocentric the way only a young thing with insecurities can be. It was exhausting working with someone who got personally offended every time they received critical feedback and who threw a million excuses at you when being told how to behave at a work place. I tried to be understanding and assured myself that surely I had been just as dramatic and stubborn when I was that young. In the end I gave up trying to motivate or guide to a new level of understanding.
During personal time I was exhausted to have the same person constantly entering my private space with painful efforts that shouted "notice me! Pay attention! Now! ...please?". It was almost endearing to observe the constant battle of huge insecurities and cocky attitude in one single embodiment. How cruel is life to give young people beauty and energy only to torment them with self-doubt and pettiness.
Youth truly is wasted on the young.
My experience with this particular person was really eye-opening and truly gave me perspective. I realized the importance of experience and hence the inevitableness of age. All the things that I have lived through, the tears of joy, shivers of terror and cries of both pleasure and pain have played an important role in growing to be this person who is not afraid to look herself in the mirror and accept who she is. This growth has taken time which has not been in vain.
When I was younger I was terrified of my flaws and like so many I lied to myself, avoiding the painful realizations. But the truth shall set you free. As I decided that my life was in the point that something big needed to change in it I was finally brave enough to be completely honest with myself.
I cringe when I see new lines on my face or realize that my body is changing, my levels of energy are not what they used to be...BUT I still prefer to be here and now, having both sympathy and healthy criticism towards myself.
Years passed have offered me ample opportunities to better myself. I have taken many of them, certainly not all.
We are all individuals and mature in different ways, methods and there is never a schedule for these things. As long as we move forward, learn and gain perspective then isn't the total sum of adding X amount of years to Y amount of life experiences greater than equal?
