As Couchsurfing is a traveling community based on good will, no money changes hands. Strangers from all over the world will offer you their homes just so they could meet interesting new people and potentially make friends - and also so when they go traveling themselves they will enjoy the hospitality of others. Quoted from the couchsurfing.com website: "We envision a world made better by travel and travel made richer by connection. Couchsurfers share their lives with the people they encounter, fostering cultural exchange and mutual respect."
The website has been around for over a decade and I first started using it with my friend when we left traveling five years ago. In 2010 Couchsurfing was still a non profit organization before it was sold and changed to a profit making machine. This, I truly believe, was a mistake.
We are always warned by strangers: when we're young our parents tell us not to talk to strangers or go with them under any circumstances. When we grow older we automatically fear strangers - who knows what dangers are lurking behind those seemingly average faces. And it's smart, obviously, as we know the world is not a perfect place. There are rapists, murderers, phedophiles, scam artists, kidnappers and traffickers, you name it, they're all out there.
But to not turn into a complete cynic with no faith in the human race, we have communities that we join in order to feel safe and happy. For many years Couchsurfing was a community I was not afraid to use: I have "couchsurfed" with dozens of people in several different countries all around the world and even if we didn't become best friends with all of my hosts, most of the time I felt comfortable and completely safe. I have met many friends while couchsurfing and made even more memorable acquintances - each and every person I would not have met without the website! I have a lot to be grateful for: I trusted strangers and they showered me with hospitality, making my travels truly unforgettable.
Though it's not all rainbows and giggles, Couchsurfing is still like anything in life: you have to keep your common sense with you. Four years ago was the first time I encountered a person who marred my Couchsurfing experience: an older man of 50+ years of age, who invited himself to my bed while I was couchsurfing at his house and tried to kiss me several times while I kept pushing him away, repeatedly saying "no". I'm a strong personality and have bucket loads of self confidence, so I managed to get out of a potentially dangerous situation. I couldn't stop thinking what if... But for a long time this remained the only bad experience I had with Couchsurfing.
Then last year I had a very similar thing happening: a man of 65 years old that was my host had been very flirty with me for a few days before he finally crossed the line and said he thought I was very attractive and wanted to lick my toes. LICK MY TOES!!! Needless to say I locked my bedroom door that night and very quickly got out of his house.
It seems that the negative issues have truly escalated this year. My very recent trip to Japan was something I anticipated very much and I started planning my trip on the Couchsurfing website: searching for like-minded people that could offer me accommodation, I was mostly contacted by younger men who seemed dubious: my gut feeling was telling me not to trust majority of these people. One man actually told me that his previous couchsurfers have shared a bed with him because he has no extra bed to give to people who stay with him...! WHAT? Obviously he only invited young, attractive girls to stay with him. I was horrified.
And then it happened. I was in Tokyo and had agreed to couchsurf at Japanese man's home: he seemed normal and nice from the very beginning when he first invited me to come and stay with him. So I kept emailing with him to see if I would get a bad vibe or if there was something off-putting about him to raise the "stranger danger" alert in my head. No such thing came up, so I agreed to stay with him for 4 nights.
I met him in the busiest station of the world, the Shinjuku station in Tokyo, during rush hour. It was bustling. He was dressed in a suit, I thought him a business man, and he seemed nice. After short introductions we were chatting and started heading off towards his house. After a few minutes of walking he told me casually that "you can't come couchsurfing in my house because my parents don't approve of it. So I have booked us a hotel room. There is only one bed though, that's OK?". I couldn't believe what I was hearing. My feet automatically stopped. I was gobsmacked. I gaped at him and in the midst of the bewilderment and utter disbelief I asked him to repeat it: maybe his English wasn't that good or I had misunderstood. He confirmed: only one bed for the two of us. I felt betrayed, shocked, disgusted. I couldn't believe what a weasel this man was. To be 100% sure I wasn't mistaken, I asked him "Did you book this hotel room because you thought I would have sex with you?" and he simply looked me in the eye and said "Yes".
After that good many things happened. The most important thing was that I was safe: we were still around the Shinjuku station so there were literally millions of people around us. I told him what a disgusting human being he was and how dare he take advantage of people's trust, trying to USE me!
That was just what Couchsurfing is NOT supposed to be, but if you are not careful it could happen to you. I remember sitting on the street in Shinjuku, thinking to myself "how did this happen?" and crying. Tears of disappointment, anger, even fear. After a few minutes I picked myself up and made a new plan but looking back I understand that I was in a state of shock. This time I was lucky: the creep revealed his disgusting plans to me while we were still in a public place and I could turn around, say no.
After this experience I have started to think about Couchsurfing differently. After the non-profit Couchsurfing website was turned into a money making machine a few years ago, they have changed for the worse. I didn't use to be afraid using the Couchsurfing website but now I'm cautious: I will carefully read the profile of the person, what other couchsurfers have said about them and also from now on if I get the slightest bad vibe, I will turn people down.
In a nut shell: I absolutely recommend Couchsurfing - but I also recommend listening to your gut and having loads of common sense. And even after that keep your sensors on. Always.
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