When am I going home?

I get asked this question a lot when I meet new people. Especially when they hear I've been traveling for a few years already they inquire eagerly, "so when will you go home?". My answer goes pretty much something like this: "probably never". Sometimes people reply with a laughter or a sceptical "really?" but mostly I get the raised eyebrows. And it seems like people who ask this question never seem to be satisfied with my answer, which can be simplified to this: I don't want to return to my home country ever again permanently if I can help it.

Why?

Because I'm a traveler. A modern day vagabond.

I don't think of myself as part of one nation anymore, and though I am grateful for my home country for all the wonderful things it enables me to do (thanks for the strong passport!), I genuinely consider myself a citizen of the world. It's a cliché, but "wherever I lay my hat, that's my home". (Makes me wish I wore a hat.)

I don't want the "normal life" where you work for a meaningless company year after year (or decade after decade), live in the same city/country, get married, have children, watch your pension grow and get so distracted by the daily mundane things so that life passes you by. For me all that seems like a waste of life. Majority of people call this "life". I don't want it.

I want to make clear, so I don't hurt anyone's feelings here, that I don't criticize other people who choose the traditional way of life: go for it! Just don't tell me that I need to make the same decisions as you did, as if it was the only way to live.

"Surely you'll want to settle down one day" is what I hear a lot. Yeah, maybe. But right now I can't imagine staying in one place for more than a few months. One year in one place seems to make me itchy! The world is so big, beautiful and full of adventures just waiting for us to jump on the opportunity!

The scariest thing for me nowadays is to have a long term plan or tie myself up with responsibilities or material possessions. Longer I travel the more I realize that the material things we are taught to yearn and desire are there to hold us back. More stuff I have, less I have freedom. I'm slowly becoming a minimalist. I still like things, like a girl I like pretty clothes and shoes. But I don't own 200 pairs anymore. (Yes, I did use to own more than 200 pairs of shoes. But that's a different story for another day).

"But what about your family?" ask the people who are apparently worried that I never talk to my folks. Well I can honestly say that in many ways my relationship with my family has never been better since I started traveling! I'm way more honest with them now about what I want and what I don't want it life, so we don't argue about things as much as before. They have given me 100% of their love and support throughout these years. Sure I don't see them very regularly, but when I finally go home to see them, we spend quality time together AND for an extended period of time, not just for a few days. I feel their presence strongly in my everyday life and I dare to say they do, too.

And same goes for my friends: leaving home was the best test to see who really would stick around when there was not much to stick around for: I didn't visit home for the first three years I started traveling and I was nervous when I went back.. Would they forgive me for being a "bad friend"? I was so happy, relieved and lucky to still have so many good friends left to welcome me with open arms :) Like many things in life, it's not about the quantity, it's about the quality. I have dear, old friends back at home and then I have friends whom I've met while traveling and they feel like old friends. I am so blessed to have amazing people around me - no matter if they're near or far.

"Don't you want to get married?" is one thing people ask me frequently, probably because I'm apparently in "that age" (to settle down, I am told). It seems to shock many when I tell them that I'm happy being single. That a relationship for a person who travels is usually more of burden than anything else. Sure, sometimes I feel like it would be nice to have a special someone. But special someones aren't easy to find. And since I started traveling it would take a lot for a man to adjust to my way of life. Yes, he would have to adjust to my travels, I wouldn't sacrifice my love for adventure or independence for anyone. Of course I would love to meet a man who could join me in what I do - but if I have to choose between a relationship and traveling, I choose traveling.
Traveling is so far my one and only true love.

And then there's my all time favorite...

"You've been traveling for so many years, seriously?! You're so lucky!" Whoaa, excuse me, lucky? I guess it was lucky that I decided to buy that one way ticket to the other side of the world, quit my job, sell my possessions, leave my home, say goodbye to everything familiar or dear to me just to go and explore countries which I knew nothing of.. Oh no wait, no, that was not luck, that was actually all ME. Like a friend of mine said, who's also been traveling for many years, I'd also like to say that I did not win a traveling lottery. I made sacrifices and choices to be where I am now and to do what I do. It was a lot of hard work sometimes.

I've had so many wonderful, amazing moments throughout these years! But also plenty of difficulties, challenges and hardships that come when living and traveling abroad. Moments of utter confusion, desperation, uncertainties. "Luck" didn't help me when it was so hard that I had to kick myself in the butt, wipe my tears, forget my doubts and move on just to stay sane. In the end I found safety in who I am and in the decisions I made. Luck doesn't help you with that.


Home? It's always with me and I take it everywhere I go.